It's a...

I wish I could say that I am ecstatic as this note looks or even when I announced I was pregnant,

but I am a little sad. I haven't cried yet which I probably will do tonight in bed. 

Now for anyone who is struggling to conceive or carry a child to term

please don't hear a complaining mother. 

I know that we are very blessed to be pregnant with our third in 3 years.

I just wanted a girl. 

I kept telling myself that I was expecting a boy so I wouldn't be disappointed.

But clearly when my husband opened the envelope I was VERY disappointed. 

I started smiling very largely and laughing to keep from crying. 

I know I will love this boy.

I know I will adore him.

I love him now.

It is going to take me a few days to let go of hoping for a girl. 

I realize at this point statistically I am destained to being a boymom.

I probably won't have a girl as our fourth, if we decide to have four.

And that's OK. 

Its OK that I  am sad about letting go of the dreams.
Dreams of mother/daughter events.

Dreams of picking out a prom dress,

Dreams of my daughter in he wedding gown

Dreams of watching Robert walk her down the isle and

crying through their father/daughter dance. 

I wanted all those memories. 

But as of now that isn't the plan God has for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

God has a plan for these 3 Pattenaude boys that I am not aware of and I have to trust that His plan is better than anything I could ever plan.

I will have new dreams.
For starters I will have the privilege of bawling my eyes out three time
during the mother/son dance!

Now to agree on a name!

1000 gifts {6-15}

Read 1-5 here
6. Date night at Benny's Classic Grill
7. Being able to talk with Robert about our marriage.
8. Early morning snuggles with my big boy!
9. My car, didn't realize the gift till it wasn't working for THREE WEEKS!!!
10.Clean sheets!
11. Mama's Write Conference
12. Family that's close enough to babysit
13. A hard working husband who worked two job in one day
14. My iPhone 4
15. A husband who stays home with the boys so that I can come to Starbucks to blog!

1000 Gifts, Reasons for Joy

Let me start off by saying I have never read this 

Ann Voskamp book One Thousand Gifts

But I have heard great things about it

and in light of yesterday's post I want to start writing them out

1000 sounds daunting 

but 

I know they are there.

So I'm starting with the basics and will post from time to time my 1000 gifts update

1. My salvation

2. My parents, they have been so supportive my whole life

3. Justine, my special needs sister who taught me so much as a young child 

4. Vejay, my little brother he is 20 years younger than me and makes me laugh ALL THE TIME!

5. My Robert, liked him at 15, loved him at 18 married him at 22!

Now I am not going to always put pictures but when I can I will!