It's a...

I wish I could say that I am ecstatic as this note looks or even when I announced I was pregnant,

but I am a little sad. I haven't cried yet which I probably will do tonight in bed. 

Now for anyone who is struggling to conceive or carry a child to term

please don't hear a complaining mother. 

I know that we are very blessed to be pregnant with our third in 3 years.

I just wanted a girl. 

I kept telling myself that I was expecting a boy so I wouldn't be disappointed.

But clearly when my husband opened the envelope I was VERY disappointed. 

I started smiling very largely and laughing to keep from crying. 

I know I will love this boy.

I know I will adore him.

I love him now.

It is going to take me a few days to let go of hoping for a girl. 

I realize at this point statistically I am destained to being a boymom.

I probably won't have a girl as our fourth, if we decide to have four.

And that's OK. 

Its OK that I  am sad about letting go of the dreams.
Dreams of mother/daughter events.

Dreams of picking out a prom dress,

Dreams of my daughter in he wedding gown

Dreams of watching Robert walk her down the isle and

crying through their father/daughter dance. 

I wanted all those memories. 

But as of now that isn't the plan God has for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

God has a plan for these 3 Pattenaude boys that I am not aware of and I have to trust that His plan is better than anything I could ever plan.

I will have new dreams.
For starters I will have the privilege of bawling my eyes out three time
during the mother/son dance!

Now to agree on a name!